Saturday, June 9, 2012

Like clockwork

As soon as I talked about how positive I felt about the future in my last post, wouldn't you know it, I got into a humongous fight with my dad and have been resurfacing from that experience since.

Our argument was based on a lot of miscommunication regarding health issues, responsibilities, and expectations and lasted for days. It reached a point where I felt that the only way to resolve it was to move out. Luckily, at this proposition, my dad balked and began to see reason again. It largely seems as though things have been resolved and we're all living together harmoniously once more.

What surprised me most about this experience was how deeply it affected me. I used to argue with my mother all of the time. If I still talked to her and saw her on a regular basis, I have no doubt that I would still argue with her constantly. On the other hand, my dad and I rarely argue. I think I can count on one hand how many times we have ever argued. I grew up in a living situation that was horrible and I didn't want to be in, so how could an argument about my current living situation that caused me to not want to be there anymore plunge me into a depression?

I think the root of the problem was the fact that it was my dad who I was arguing with and it was about me living with him. I've joked in the past that if it weren't for my dad being so awesome and supportive, living with my hoarder mother would have seriously screwed me up for life. Going through the confrontation last week made me realize how true that statement is. When I felt like I couldn't talk to my dad and I felt unwelcome in his home, I felt like I had absolutely nothing. Having only one "good" parent throws the whole parental support system off kilter and causes me to rely much more on my dad. When it's not status quo with my dad, I essentially feel orphaned.

It took me most of this week to feel normal again. Now that I'm back into the swing of things, I hope like hell that my dad and I won't have to butt heads like that again for a long, long time, if ever.

If you have one hoarder parent and rely more on the other parent for emotional support, have you ever felt the way that I did when you've argued with your "good" parent?

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