Action

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"Nothing diminishes anxiety more than action." -Walter Anderson

Regret

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"In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take."

Little things

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"We sometimes underestimate the influence of little things." -Charles W. Chestnutt

Great things

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"No great thing is suddenly created." -Epictetus

Absolutely terrified

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"I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do." -Georgia O'Keefe

Opportunity

“Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” -Albert Einstein

Apology you never got

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"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got." -Robert Brault

Missing reality

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"People who are grieving walk with death, every waking moment. When the rest of us dread that we'll somehow remind them of death's existence, we are missing their reality ... A rendezvous with death, for them, was waking up each morning without their [father]." -Barbara Kingsolver from Animal, Vegetable, Miracle

Darkest skies

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“It is often in the darkest skies that we see the brightest stars.” - Richard Evans

Be where you are

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"As you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. Otherwise you will miss most of your life." -Siddhārtha Gautama

Be kind

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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Plato

Truth

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"Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes."

Will

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"Life has many ways of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once." -Paulo Coelho

Strong at the broken places

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places." -Ernest Hemingway

Time

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"The trouble is, you think you have time." -Buddha

Courage

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"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.' - Mary Anne Radmacher

How to stop worrying

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If you've been following my blog for awhile, you know that I'm a fan of inspirational and motivational quotations. I tend to post at least one a week here. Reading pithy things about how happiness is a choice and how you're in charge of your own destiny is all well and good, but when the going gets tough, do you really take those things to heart or do you resort to your status quo?

If you've been reading my posts for awhile, you also know that I have suffered from depression and anxiety on and off since I was a teenager. Having a broken mother will do that to you. Up until a few years ago, when I was at a mentally low point, I would just allow all of those depressive, self-deflating, worrying, nerve-wracking thoughts to completely run ramped through my head and take over my life. I thought they just had to run their course and then I could get over it. It wasn't until I was at my lowest point that I realized that I could intentionally break the cycle myself instead of just waiting for it to burn out. I managed to do it by appealing to my strong pragmatic and logical side.

What I realized is this: when something is truly out of your control, worrying and having anxiety about it will not change the situation at all. Not even a bit. Whether you are worried sick, desperately depressed, indifferent, or exuberant, the situation is out of your hands and your emotional state will not determine the outcome. So if worrying and having anxiety is worthless, why waste your energy and sanity on allowing your thoughts to drag you though the mud? Accept that it is out of your hands, let it go, and enjoy your life.

I was reminded of this powerful logic just last week when I was starting to feel restless and anxious about a guy I've been casually dating. He's been incredibly busy these last few weeks and so we haven't been able to see each other as often. I began to fear that he's losing interest in me and my brain short-circuited. I felt like I needed to talk to him immediately and see him as soon as possible. We talked on the phone and he told me that he had to go out of town last weekend so we wouldn't be able to see each other for even longer. He was also feeling incredibly stressed from everything that's been going on in his life lately. When I got off the phone, we hadn't made any solid plans for when he got back (a big no no for my planner self) and I could feel myself getting even more agitated.

I took a deep breath and thought about the situation logically. Nothing about what he was saying indicated that he was specifically unhappy with me. Quite simply, I had to stop making the situation about me. He's dealing with a lot right now and I would be feeling the same way if I had the same things to deal with. Instead of being something extra he has to worry about, I needed to take a chill pill, be understanding, and give him the space he needs. Being clingy, desperate, and self-centered would make my fear of rejection a self-fulfilling prophecy. I also realized that there was no way we would be seeing each other until this week at the earliest. No amount of anxiety or worry could change that. Did I really want to spend all of that time feeling sad and disgruntled because a guy was honestly too busy to see me? No, of course not. I chose to let it go. Boom. Instead of sulking all night, I had a cup of tea, watched a comedy on Netflix, and checked some things off my to do list. I was happy and productive!

Short version: when I realize that I'm feeling anxious or beginning to worry excessively, I stop and ask myself why I feel that way. Once I evaluate the why, I ask myself if what I'm feeling is rational. If it's not, I talk myself out of wasting my time and energy feeling out of sorts and do something that'll make me happy instead- life is too damn short to be unhappy and a slave to self-destructive thoughts. If my anxiety and worry is rational (there's something I can do to change the situation), I decide on a course of action to make things right. I've found that the more you practice this exercise, the easier and more second nature it becomes.


What tricks do you use to keep your anxiety level low and keep from worrying excessively?

It's always your choice

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"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." -Wayne Dyer

Blessed are the curious

"Blessed are the curious for they shall have adventures." -Lovelle Drachman

Far, far better things

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"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." -C.S. Lewis