Monday, December 17, 2012

Torn

by kaderli via Flickr
If you've been keeping up with my blog lately, you know that life's kind of been kicking me in the pants the last few months. There are way too many things going on to begin with, but then add in some people who are really stressing me out and I'm just about maxed out.

One of the things that I kind of just glossed over was the fact that I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago. I don't think this bit of news was surprising to most people in real life because there were problems from the beginning. The impending cross country move was a catalyst to figure out how things really stood and when I took an honest look at what I really want out of a life partner, he simply came up short. He's a great guy and we had good times together, but in the long run, we weren't going to make each other happy. He wasn't ready for a big commitment and my gut reaction to marrying him was a big, fat no.

I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you that, despite being bummed about ending a relationship, it has opened up opportunities that I would not have been able to pursue otherwise. Specifically, I have a guy friend whom I've known for 5 years. We had an instant connection when we met, but it's quite comical at how poor our timing has been. We managed to have a few romantic encounters a few years ago when we were both single, but living in two different states always put a damper on things. Regardless of what's been going on though, we've stayed in contact for the vast majority of the last 5 years. During my break up, we both realized that we should probably try to figure out what kind of potential we have before I move cross country. We've been making time to see each other and, let me tell you, it's been pretty great. Since we already know each other pretty well, it's like we've just naturally fallen into a rhythm.

At the end of the day, I'm still moving cross country in a little over two weeks, so I'm trying to keep my expectations in check. In this moment though, moving to California is the last thing I want to do.

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