Monday, December 3, 2012

From the archives: teenage exuberance

by kaysha via Flickr
Sometimes, especially when I feel down, I like to go back and read things I wrote when I was a teenager. This entry I wrote in 2005 made me smile and remember that life is fleeting, so you better fucking live.

Oh the possibilities, the endless possibilities. Germany, Switzerland, Fiji. Fucking Fiji. Life is so abundant, I want to be filled with its wonderment. I love these moments, when my seemingly dead soul is revived. A phoenix from the flames. Moving, living, breathing. Really fucking living. Laughter from the inside. The tickling of my heart. My ticklish heart. I wish to never fake a laugh, a chuckle, the plastic manufactured emotions. Cut it off, sever, snip snip, no wounds because it never really was a part of you. Effervescence. Inhale the contentment, exhale the charisma. Exfoliate the calluses. Let your new skin be caressed. Conventions don't have a hold on me. Break down the barriers and really make something of worth. Cut the cookie cutter crap, bring on some reality. Oh life, take me where I want to go. Allow me to pose and capture the picture. Compose the story and read its glory. Radiate and feel the sun's warmth. Expose the life that is living inside. Energy. Tiptoe down this high wire and enjoy the view. Trip and allow the clouds to catch your fall. Keep on going down that line and build momentum. Reach your destination at a full sprint and laugh your head off when you get there, choking on the simultaneous inhale and exhale. Collapse on the grass and just die. Oh, it'll make a great story for your grandchildren. They'll love you and your cookies. Wings. The ones you always wanted and never could convince gravity to defy with. Keep yourself grounded. Bored and safe. Crawl into bed and dream of all the things you never had the guts to do and achieve. Slice your skin open with the edge of regrets. Fear, so irrational. Live, love, and be loved. Welcome the pain along the way, it means you're learning and trying and that you're still alive. Alive. Live. Life.


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