Monday, February 11, 2013

Living alone

by hryckowian via Flickr
Living alone is a funny thing. When you spent the majority of your life in a sea of rotting filth with a person who was supposed to be taking care of you, the act of living in a space that is entirely for you and filled with only the things you put there is a foreign concept.

I decided to live alone when I moved to California because I was entirely sick of living with other people. I've had great experiences with roommates (my college roommate and then a college friend who moved to Richmond) and I've had not so great experiences (an uptight short term roommate and, most recently, my dad's girlfriend). I didn't feel like taking any chances with complete strangers, especially when my two cats would be involved, so living alone was the most appealing option for me.

I lived alone a few years ago after I broke up with my ex-fiance and moved out of the apartment that we shared. I remember feeling a lot of things then that I've been feeling now in terms of adjusting to living solo. Sure, it can be lonely and quiet and boring at times, but it can also be exhilarating. Not having to deal with other people's idiosyncrasies on a daily basis is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

One thing I've noticed that is very different now from when I lived alone the first time is that I feel much more interested in decorating my apartment and making it feel like home. I've been looking at curtains and bedskirts and actually caring about things matching and establishing color schemes. I never even hung pictures in my last one bedroom. I think being in a brand new city where I know practically no one has me looking more inward and placing more importance in creating a safe haven for myself. It's rare that I've been able to think of my home as a truly relaxing place, so being able to do so now has me operating in full nesting mode.

Have any children of hoarders who are reading ever live alone? Did you enjoy it?


  1. I lived alone for over 4 years after graduating from college. Moving away to college is actually when the floodgates opened for my Mom's hoarding.

    This is an exciting brand new life stage for you. It makes sense you want to get it set up just right. Have fun with it!

    1. I'm afraid to see my mom's hoard now. I highly, highly doubt it's gotten any better since I left.

      Thanks! I'm definitely getting there :-).

  2. Thank you for sharing an putting a face to the the children of hoarders. It is a challenge to move on and kudos to you for doing it so well. I definitely relate to needing my own space after not having much of one when growing up in a hoarding household. In response to your question about living alone: I LOVE LIVING ALONE. Love it! I am 2 years post divorce and managed to keep the house in the divorce. It is me and the cat and it is great! At first it was weird after being married for 14 years and having roommates prior to that. It was a little scary to be home alone with the wind howling and all in the winter. But my house, my rules-which means every room in the house is usable and picked up. There is no doubt I live here, but it is comfortable and every room in the house functions as it should.

    1. So glad to hear that you've adjusted well to living alone! I am definitely enjoying my space.